Setting: Seth Rogan’s apartment last week around 3 am.
Rogan [sitting on couch in underwear watching CNN]: Oh shit! OHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT! Oh man! Oh holy crapballs! [inhales smoke] Oh god. Just hold it in, Seth, hold it in….. [exhales sharply, puts giant bong down on floor] This is nuts, this is crazy. I gotta call Franco.
[phone rings at James Franco’s place]
Franco [answers phone, two women asleep on either side of him]: Yeah?
Rogan: Dude! Turn on CNN!
Franco: Do what? Naw, man.
Rogan: JUST DO IT!
Franco [scratches head] : Huh? Do what, man?
Rogan: Turn….on…. [screams into phone] THE. F—-ING NEWS!
[silence for several minutes]
Franco: Oh shit.
Rogan: Yeah, “oh shit”. You got that right my friend. You got that right! [laughs like an asthmatic stuttering donkey]
Franco: Well, what do we do? I mean, this can’t be good. Right?
Rogan: [shouts] No man! No it’s not! I would think pissing off…